A Note to Feminism
For a couple of weeks I have asked a bunch of people what feminism really means to them. Big words like, opportunity, empowerment, embracing womanhood and sexual freedom came up. However there were also people who said that feminism means that women have to work more and take the first step in the dating world. According to Google dictionary feminism means, “the advocacy of women's rights on the ground of the equality of the sexes“. For me feminism means 2 things, it means having a voice and a choice!
HAVING A VOICE
For thousands of years women counted as much as animals and were merely seen as property. Did you know that women are only allowed to vote for 99 years in the US whilst the declaration of independence was signed in 1776? And still in this time women’s opinions are sometimes not as valued as men’s. I personally have very feminine features, which made me have a very rough start to my career in a men dominated industry. I often had the impression that even though my ideas were smart, I still was belittled and unfortunately noticed that men were staring at my backside when I was walking away (fortunately I changed careers).
I have also had a hard time in the past when it comes to voice because I have a very feminine and soft voice. I now see it as a gift and embrace it as it is but there were times when I was afraid to speak up because people had made fun of my high-pitched voice for years. I always wanted to have one of these deep voices because I thought that would ultimately give my ideas more meaning and people would listen when I had something to say. However, now I know that every voice matters! And even if you have the softest voice, you might as well have something important to say. That’s also one of the reasons why I love this blog so much because it gives me the opportunity to raise my voice and put my words to paper.
HAVING A CHOICE
Most importantly, though, feminism to me is THE FREEDOM OF CHOICE! For instance, we as women can now choose whom we want to marry or whether we want to get married at all. However feminism does not equal, having a full-time job, being a complete workaholic, or the breadwinner of the family, sleeping around with multiple strangers, letting your armpit hair grow, making the first step when it comes to dating, creating a mold family on your dirty dishes in the sink,… But if you want to be a workaholic, sleep around, let your hair grow, make the first step and avoid cleaning that’s fine because who have a choice, which still does not mean you have to be all of the above. I think the age of Aquarius is also leading us to a place where people are starting to be less judgmental, especially towards women. Moreover I feel like women these days are more accepted to do anything they want with their lives.
Unfortunately, there are also people who still don’t get the whole concept of feminism who think that feminism is the total legitimization for them (mostly men) to become lazy, lean back and let the women do the whole work. So these people think that feminism means that women need to have a full-time job, do the household after they get home from work, have kids while they work, open to non-commitment relationships and sex whenever wherever, doing all the handy-work by themselves and still having time to go to gym to keep that booty in shape because wearing aprons with clothes underneath is so unsexy. Let me tell you here, THIS IS NOT HOW FEMINISM WORKS!!! Frankly, it’s the whole opposite! While there’s nothing wrong with a full-time job some women rather like putting their whole energy in raising their kids at home which doesn’t make them any less feminist in my eyes, they are just embracing their authenticity in doing what they love to do and I don’t think housewives count less compared to working moms. Moreover, according to recent studies, women who work full-time while being in a committed relationship STILL do all the household work all by themselves during the weekend while their partners are rather chillaxing. There is also nothing wrong with open relationships, if this is your jam, rock on! If not, it’s also still OK in this time to look for something more stable where two people actually commit themselves to each other. There’s nothing wrong with that either and it’s totally OK to communicate that to partners without sounding uptight. Whatever your preference, it’s OK as long as you are true to yourself and your values! There’s also nothing wrong with being able to punch a whole in the wall as a women. Yet it’s also OK for a men to help out when need be. And you are also still a feminist when a man opens a door for you or sends you presents because they are really a form of appreciation of you and your womanhood. Conscious men will know…
Feminism means that you have a choice to be whomever you really want to be and not letting men tell you that you have to be a certain kind, dress a certain way, act a certain way etc. We are very fortunate in this time of age to express ourselves fully. In a nutshell, I think feminism probably means something different for everyone when it comes to details. For instance, for me embracing my womanhood might look different to your idea of it. But every opinion, every voice counts. With this being said, above all I think feminism is about being and fully accepting yourself, knowing that you were given a voice and a choice for a reason. You might as well make it count!