We are about to face a mega strong Super Full Moon tonight. This Full Moon appears very close to the earth, intensifying the highlighted energies. This Super Full Moon in Gemini can stronger than ever bring forward the classic Gemini expressions of opposing forces and polarities, that we are daily facing in our inside world as well as in the outer world. 

Continuously repeating the manta below could help coping with today's shift:

In ease and grace,
In beauty and faith,

I let go…
While I rise to the highest timeline possible.

Can you feel the Super Moon yet?

I sure do! This week has been super rough for me indeed. I couldn't really sleep much and my belly felt very weird all week. So on Wednesday night I had the most epic pain attack in my lower stomach due to my endo. I couldn't really figure out why because at least in my eyes I felt like I was taking really good care of my body. This pain had been so bad I kept me from sleeping all night even though I was tremendously tired. I haven't taken any pain killers for two moths but this night I had to take 3 ibuprophen 300 to be able to lay on my side (not even talking about being free from pain). I couldn't even manage to walk back to my bedroom after taking those pain killers because getting up and walking to my living room/ kitchen where I store my pain killers brought tears of pain into my eyes and running down my cheeks. So I ended up snoozing a bit on my couch with the lights on because again I couldn't get up without any help.

For those lucky ones of you who were fortunate enough never having to experience an endo attack: It's the worst. You can't even lay down. It feels like there's something evil in your body that shouldn't be in there. It is freaking scary. You can't take deep belly breaths anymore to calm yourself down because you're whole belly is bloated. You actually look like 3 months pregnant. (If you have experienced this feeling before but nobody believed you, when describing it, not even your doctor. Do your research and get yourself checked! There's help out there! Reach out!)

I haven't had one of those attacks since August. But this Wednesday/ Thursday it just got me. My stomach still feels weird right now. So I asked myself - What makes this month different compared to September and October? I am still eating very healthy, doing yoga everyday and meditating even twice a day. I am taking my homeopathic supplements. I'm really talking good care of myself. - I denied all my symptoms and just kept working. I did a major 2 hr full body vinyassa flow on Friday morning. The thing is when I do yoga I forget everything around me which can be a very good thing most of the time. Yet this time I also forgot about my pain and just kept going until after I was just over-exhausted. So I had to sleep through the rest of the day. I just realized on Saturday really that this past month I was just working through without giving myself a day off every once every while. I was just constantly pushing myself "stressing" my body until it was just like "NO! No more!". That's probably also why I fell really badly out of a headstand landing and eventually injuring my left hip on Wednesday.  

In the future I will still stick to my "anti-endo" tools and will include to give myself more breaks. I am still human after all. So last night I was just like f* it and had some white bread and some hot wine push. And I started realizing even after having "bad" carbs and a glass of wine I can still be a good yoga teacher. I am still enough. Nobody really is perfect. If we do not allow ourselves to have some treat every once in a while we a suppressing our body's needs and therefore this craving only gets stronger as time goes by until maybe this super moon when our "evil twin" takes over and eats all the bad carbs and drinks all the wine. 

In conclusion, I think if had giving myself bigger breaks before I wouldn't have ended up in this f* it-mode/ sleep all day kinda thing. Maybe I would still have had a pain attack but maybe it wouldn't have been this bad because my body would have been more rested. After all in yoga we are aiming to be good to our bodies and not over-stimulate or over-train. We want to be gentle and create peace and space within our bodies. And yet we are all so imperfectly perfect humans that make mistakes. As do I. That's why we call yoga a "practice". We are students on different level aiming to reach our best. So be kind to yourself today. Acknowledge the full moon rising tonight. It's perfectly fine to feel less energized today.